”You know what? I’m gonna change the name now. It’s gonna be Tiger Wuss. Here’s a guy that took about three months to get over a simple arthroscopic surgery. You look at [former Penguins forward] Ryan Malone. His face exploded with a slap shot last night — he’s back out in 10 minutes! Keep your yap shut, Tiger, or I’ll send a couple of wingers down there — [former Penguins forward] Gary Roberts — to tidy you up a little bit, meathead.” — Hockey analyst Mike Milbury on Tiger Woods (after Woods remarked that no one watches hockey anymore, and before Woods went out and won the U.S. Open on a bad knee).